I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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