Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
