Well apparently he's into motor boating.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
