I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Randomize
