So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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