I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
