THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
so much tequila, so little girl.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
