Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
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