sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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