Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
