Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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