You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
She bit a glass in half.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
