you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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