it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Can you bring me the toilet please
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Randomize
