GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
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