please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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