I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
i wish my penis had a tongue
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
