Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
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