Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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