I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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