Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
