that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Randomize
