my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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