i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
it's great music for shaving your balls
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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