He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
