nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
