her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
