I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize