I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
