i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
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