I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She needs sedatives and a leash
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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