I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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