Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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