Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
