i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize
