Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
