You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
