Pants 0. Shit 1.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
