so explain again why im purple
no
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
