she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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