Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
