No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
