Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
You ate ashes out of my bong
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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