You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
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