weddingsv make me drug and hornr
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
