WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
You took a bar mat shot.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Randomize
