He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
