call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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