I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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