Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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