I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Randomize
