I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
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he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me