Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?