i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
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I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
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I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.