I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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