Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
