Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
