Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
