Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
