OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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