you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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