I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
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