Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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