Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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