drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Randomize
