I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
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