Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
