im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
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