she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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