We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
