Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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