And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
It's rum buckets o'clock
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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