A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Randomize
