Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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